Friday, October 29, 2010

365 / Day 91 ~ Positive Changes

Again, this week has whirred by and I haven't managed to stay true to the project yet again. I have decided to dedicate this space to random moments in my life, little things and some of our family adventures in the Black household. I want to keep my photography work separate from my more personal blogs anyway so it works. So what have we been up to, or myself more specifically?

I have some exciting news! I finally did it...I joined the gym! Over 4 years and 2 children later and I have not really attempted a single structured work out. After Abby was born I tried to do a stroller fit class. 6 weeks after a c-section was a bit too soon despite my enthusiasm and I was so discouraged when I could barely muster half a sit-up. I also tried a mommy and me aerobics class when Abby was 3 months old. That experience had me running, not literally. I have never taken dance classes as a child and I must have looked hilarious trying to keep up with all the steps and routines. I was always a few steps behind, extremely uncoordinated and Abby was the biggest little one in the group that kept slumping over asleep in her carrier. So, after two classes, I hold my head in shame on both counts of not returning to either.

As for the gym, the last time I officially had a workout was a couple of weeks before we found out we were blessed with my sweet little Abigail. I was feeling ill with the flu that was going around work. I wrote it off. When I found out I was pregnant, less then a week later I was in the hospital with a ruptured Ovarian cyst. Both Abby and myself were close to not making it and the doctor was truly amazed that she fought to be here and continue to grow strong and healthy inside me. He did an amazing job with the surgery. I was out of commission afterward though and the thought of exercising was furthest from my mind as the pregnancy progressed. Despite having always been very slender, I gained 70lbs with my pregnancy with Abby and had people really shocked at my size at my work. I also developed gestational diabetes which is rare from I have been told for someone with a slender build. I gained 40lbs with Madison knowing I was at risk. I still got gestational diabetes but knew to monitor my eating right from the start. That is hard to do when one has a severe sweet tooth! Serves me right for gorging on sweets all my life without shame and rarely seeing side effects other then cavities or pimples...or crazy mood swings.

Why now? Well, since the weather has cooled down quite a bit and we have been inside the house more I have noticed being short of breath going up the stairs or even walking to drop Abby off at school. I have been having pretty scary chest pains for a few months now. I actually spent an evening in the ER a couple of months ago for fear that it was something worse then it was. Thankfully the tests were fine. Being at home and not exercising can do pretty horrible things over time. I am active, don't get me wrong. Running around after the kids has helped keep me relatively slim but my morning walks have slowed down with the weather and I have noticed a big change. Another reason is to clear my mind. I did a Yoga photo session with a really remarkable women recently and just chatting with her and seeing her peaceful aura and friendly demeanor really inspired me. I have been meaning to do something for awhile but talk is talk and doing something about it is entirely different. So far I have gotten a couple of work outs in and have a new zest for life already and look forward to the next workout even with the pain I am feeling today from waking up some muscles I forgot about the other night.

I am starting to focus on the positive things and help nurture my children and their zest for learning and life with fresh eyes. Starting my daughter in JK this fall has taught me a lot about myself and those around me that I haven't had to encounter in awhile since being at home with the kids. My shyness can be overwhelming at times and I almost feel as though I am the one who is the new kid at school in a sea of parents and care givers dropping little ones off. I have always had challenges with being in situations where I don't know anyone but am very rusty having been at home since a few weeks before delivering Madison who will be two very soon. Two years is a long time to be away from working out in the world with other adult human beings. Even with my photo sessions with new people I get very nervous just before I go out to meet new families or couples. The fear disappears immediately after a few minutes as my photography sessions are more intimate and more my element since I am in the mindset to create. I love the challenge and the desire is there but this whole school thing is quite different. It has me wondering, do I need to get back out in the work force? I think the gym is a good start for now ;).

So here is to a new beginning, or chapter so to speak! Wish me luck and send some encouraging vibes my way to help keep me on this track. I know I will need it! My sister has told me it only takes 21 days to make this lifestyle a habit and I am committed. Poor Matt has been trying all along to motivate me to go and like anyone with a bad habit or addiction, it has to be me or you to actually do something about it and make our own mind up about changing things. Oh, we are also getting rid of cable TV! Now that is a habit I would love to get out of our house! Oh, I almost forgot a photograph....can't forget to include one of those being a photographer and all =). Here is a snap of a festive snack I prepared for Abby to take with her to school. The carved out orange pumpkin was inspired by Jamie Schultz, a fellow photographer that has been sharing some of her healthy lunches on FB. I filled her pumpkin with strawberries and raspberries. I was hoping to get this posted sooner in case someone wanted to try it this week but got busy. Hopefully I will have some more to share from this weekends Halloween fun.

Have a fun and safe Halloween everyone!!

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